Here I am, in that old place again, down on my face again...

"Oh gosh, today has been a long day"


That's how I began to start my blog! This made me laugh because of what I was planning to write my blog on! Last night at our evening meeting e-squared, there were 2 main sections that stuck out for me from Philippians 2. These were:

"Do everything without complaining and arguing, so that noone can criticize you. Live clean, innocent lives as children of God, shining like bright lights in a world full of crooked and perverse people" v 14-15



Thing is, I tend to moan... A LOT... all the time!

I know it's annoying, and I annoy myself! It's my way of dealing with stresses or breaking an awkward silence. And it's something I hate about myself. Although I don't actually hate myself because God loves me for who I am... but that's another story! Just because God accepts me and loves me for who I am does not mean I am faultless or perfect. He still points out things that need to be changed.



The second thing was:

"Don't be selfish; don't try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves. Don't look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too." v 3-4



Ok, so we all do it. Well maybe not, maybe you're a better person than me, or just have more self control. But speaking generally, we all gossip. One thing I moan about is OTHER PEOPLE. This is awful. It makes me feel absolutely terrible. I shouldn't do it and I trust that God will help me learn more self-control, because trust me, it will do some good.







So last night I prayed God would help me with both of these. Both of which are really self-control.

Anyway, today was stressful, I moaned all day, more than I usually do! And yes, I gossiped. But on the way home I realised, God had prepared these situations for me, for practice with self control, not to moan, not to gossip. It made me actually laugh out loud! It was hilarious! All day I had been thinking how much I had to moan about yet I missed the thing that was blindingly obvious! God was helping me! He gave me those situations to laugh myself out of not moan about. Sure thing though, I need some practice there! I need some central focus and that is Jesus. Next time I go to moan or gossip I hope I remember that... so God, I'll try harder next time!!!!